Last Updated on July 29, 2021 by Nancy Carteron, MD, FACR
Mourning the Loss of a Beautiful Soul
The STI Project lost its first friend to HIV/AIDS this week, Mirvan Ereon.
I have been mourning since; I was not at all prepared for how this would affect me and quite honestly, I felt a little silly being so taken aback as I had only just recently met Mirvan.
Some of you may remember Mirvan’s STD Interview – HIV Did Not Deter Me. Mirvan, 21, passed away on August 15th, 2012 after having been diagnosed with HIV in February.
Mirvan was a prolific writer, wise beyond his years, hopeful, energetic, and open.
He shared his experiences on a number of different blogs and websites and maintained an “infectious” positive outlook. Mirvan wrote some very poignant poetry on his personal blog and had an active tumbler account.
He was a lover of one of my favorite movies of all time – Across the Universe – and we had similar tastes in music. One night in particular, we chatted about his love for Carla Bruni, Annie Lennox, and Tori Amos. He was a kindred spirit.
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Mirvan understood the stigma associated with HIV/AIDS and all STIs, in general, and wanted to face the problem head-on with empathy.
Instead of being angry, he was reflective and understanding.
As the youngest writer for PositiveLite.com, Mirvan wrote about the stigma and living in the Philippines whilst being HIV+, he talks about his incredibly low CD4 count of 2, and he tells his story – raw, gritty, and sincere. PositiveLite.com, in turn, wrote a lovely eulogy mourning the loss of their youngest contributor.
A fellow friend also wrote a beautiful reflection on Mirvan’s life (his actual name was Marvin, but his pen name, Mirvan Ereon, was a scrambled version of the actual letters in his given name).
Living with an STD – A Legacy
While the loss of Mirvan came as a shock and feels so very tragic – he was only 21 – I can’t help but turn this into an uplifting lesson for myself, my work, and my view on living with an STI/STD.
I believe this is what Mirvan would have wanted – the public to remember his overall message and for his death to only emphasize how important his words really were and continue to be for all of those who have contracted an STI – especially those of us who are living with an incurable STI/STD.
In his interview for The STI Project, Mirvan wrote,
‘This is not a curse or punishment. It’s up to you how you will interpret why you got HIV. For me, I took this virus as a message of hope and self-empowerment. I want people, positive or negative, to follow their dreams. Life is really too short for regrets. Instead of dwelling on our mistakes, we should make sure that every day is an opportunity to learn and to be better.’
I believe as he did that,
‘This virus is just a disease of the body. We should never let it also be the disease of our souls.’
It’s up to each and every one of us to continue in his footsteps.
To make his incredibly short 21 years worthwhile by doing exactly as he would have wanted: living our lives wholly, positively, and without regret. Regret, although seemingly appropriate, only stands to bring us backward, to quell our motivation and leads us to believe we must continually punish ourselves. It’s simply not true nor what Mirvan would have wanted for anyone else.
He would not accept that he could not be loved, that he did not have a future, and that he could not be successful, influential, and a legacy.
Neither should you.
As soon as you accept those things about yourself, they define you. You embrace the stigma and all growth stops.
Don’t let it.
Take Mirvan’s beautiful message and run with it. He couldn’t. But you still can.
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References
- Symptoms
- Earnshaw, Valerie A., et al. “HIV stigma and physical health symptoms: Do social support, adaptive coping, and/or identity centrality act as resilience resources?.” AIDS and Behavior 19.1 (2015): 41-49.
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- Webel, Allison R., et al. “A cross-sectional relationship between social capital, self-compassion, and perceived HIV symptoms.” Journal of pain and symptom management 50.1 (2015): 59-68.
- Braksmajer, Amy, et al. “Effects of Discrimination on HIV-Related Symptoms in Heterosexual Men of Color.” American journal of men’s health 12.6 (2018): 1855-1863.
- Testing
- World Health Organization. Guidelines on HIV self-testing and partner notification: supplement to consolidated guidelines on HIV testing services. World Health Organization, 2016.
- Arya, Monisha, et al. “The Promise of Patient-Centered Text Messages for Encouraging HIV Testing in an Underserved Population.” The Journal of the Association of Nurses in AIDS Care: JANAC 29.1 (2018): 101-106.
- Greensides, Dawn R., et al. “Alternative HIV testing methods among populations at high risk for HIV infection.” Public health reports (2016).
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- Kalichman, Seth C., and Leickness C. Simbayi. “HIV testing attitudes, AIDS stigma, and voluntary HIV counselling and testing in a black township in Cape Town, South Africa.” Sexually transmitted infections 79.6 (2003): 442-447.
- Treatment
- Cihlar, Tomas, and Marshall Fordyce. “Current status and prospects of HIV treatment.” Current opinion in virology 18 (2016): 50-56.
- Gonzalez, Jeffrey S., et al. “Depression and HIV/AIDS treatment nonadherence: a review and meta-analysis.” Journal of acquired immune deficiency syndromes (1999) 58.2 (2011).
- Callaghan, Mike, Nathan Ford, and Helen Schneider. “A systematic review of task-shifting for HIV treatment and care in Africa.” Human resources for health 8.1 (2010): 8.
- Benjamin, Laura A., et al. “HIV, antiretroviral treatment, hypertension, and stroke in Malawian adults: a case-control study.” Neurology 86.4 (2016): 324-333.
- Levi, Jacob, et al. “Can the UNAIDS 90-90-90 target be achieved? A systematic analysis of national HIV treatment cascades.” BMJ global health 1.2 (2016): e000010.
- Prevention
- Cohen, Myron S., et al. “Antiretroviral therapy for the prevention of HIV-1 transmission.” New England Journal of Medicine 375.9 (2016): 830-839.
- World Health Organization. Policy brief: Consolidated guidelines on HIV prevention, diagnosis, treatment and care for key populations. No. WHO/HIV/2017.05. World Health Organization, 2017.
- Baeten, Jared M., et al. “Use of a vaginal ring containing dapivirine for HIV-1 prevention in women.” New England Journal of Medicine 375.22 (2016): 2121-2132.
- Fowler, Mary G., et al. “Benefits and risks of antiretroviral therapy for perinatal HIV prevention.” New England Journal of Medicine 375.18 (2016): 1726-1737.
- World Health Organization. “Consolidated guidelines on HIV prevention, diagnosis, treatment and care for key populations–2016 update.” (2016).
- Transmission
- Rodger, Alison J., et al. “Sexual activity without condoms and risk of HIV transmission in serodifferent couples when the HIV-positive partner is using suppressive antiretroviral therapy.” Jama 316.2 (2016): 171-181.
- Landefeld, C. C., et al. “Prevention of Mother-to-Child Transmission of HIV in Yaounde: Barrier to Care.” AIDS care 30.1 (2018): 116-120.
- Zafer, Maryam, et al. “Effectiveness of semen washing to prevent human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) transmission and assist pregnancy in HIV-discordant couples: a systematic review and meta-analysis.” Fertility and sterility 105.3 (2016): 645-655.
- Cohen, Myron S., et al. “Antiretroviral therapy for the prevention of HIV-1 transmission.” New England Journal of Medicine 375.9 (2016): 830-839.
- Poon, Art FY, et al. “Near real-time monitoring of HIV transmission hotspots from routine HIV genotyping: an implementation case study.” The lancet HIV 3.5 (2016): e231-e238.
