Last Updated on June 4, 2020 by Valinda Riggins Nwadike, MD, MPH
What a lovely interview. Not everyone will be able to muster an outlook similar to her’s right away, but reading perspectives such as these after being diagnosed with Chlamydia, HSV2, or any STD, for that matter, can help provide the hope necessary to move past the initial shock and disparity so many feel upon being diagnosed.
This interviewee also makes an excellent point which serves to further illustrate how important awareness and education will be in fostering acceptance as well as achieving effective prevention. I, too, think my outcome may have been a bit different had I been exposed to a comprehensive sexual education and understood my real risks. Of course, at this point, I wouldn’t take my experience back for the world, because it lead me to launching The STI Project, but I can’t help but wonder how and if things might have been different.
Thank you, interviewee for sharing your positive perspective – each and every story is so very important (whether positive or negative) if we are to create the social paradigm shift we’re striving for, and it takes courage to put your thoughts out there.
1. How old are you?
26
2. What do you do for a living?
Currently, a student, was a US Navy Sailor previously
3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?
HSV2, chlamydia
4. How long have you had or known you have an STI/STD?
Almost three years
5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?
I was dating a guy on my ship who went on a European vacation for two weeks and returned with two souvenirs for me – chlamydia and herpes. I later heard from a mutual friend that he had cheated on me with at least five girls during those two weeks.
I found out I had it the day before I was leaving that ship for another, and it seemed like the worst day of my life. The next day, however, during a 14 hour layover at the airport in Bahrain, I had a lot of time to think about all of it, and it occurred to me that I wasn’t dead, I didn’t have terminal cancer, I could still walk and talk to people and do everything that I have always done, and strangely, that day was one of the best days of my life.
It made me realize how lucky I was that one of the worst things that had ever happened to me was just herpes – something many people have – and that things could have been much worse.
6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?
My life hasn’t changed all that much.
The only thing that has changed is that I might take a few more risks than I would before, and I try not to pass up any opportunity for anything fun, because I feel like some bad things are going to inevitably happen, so I might as well enjoy everything while I can.
7. Do the people who know you have an STI/STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?
Not too many people know I have it.
All the men I have slept with since I got it know, but I didn’t know any of them before I got it, so I don’t know if they are treating me differently than they would have. I only have one friend who knows. She only knows because there were no female corpsman available when I went in to see if I had it, so she had to be in the room with me, which, at the time, seemed horrifying, but she still treats me exactly the same and has given me encouragement and advice from her own medical issues.
I have found that it is nice to be able to talk freely about it to someone who loves you and won’t be judgmental.
8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI/STD? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.
For the chlamydia, I had to take a bag of pills and get a horrible shot in my butt, but it took care of it.
For the herpes, I take Valtrex when I have an outbreak, and I also try to exercise and get plenty of sleep.
9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?
It never had, until recently. Before, I had never had anyone reject me because of it.
The most recent person I have been dating told me he doesn’t feel comfortable putting himself at risk, which surprised me since that had never happened before, but before I got it, I might have felt the same.
10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI/STD affected your partner?
Right now, no significant other, but in the past it never affected my significant others. As far as I know, none of my ex-boyfriends have gotten it.
11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting an STI/STD whom you did not tell you had an STI/STD?
No, I have told everyone.
12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STI/STD?
It has made me appreciate everything much more than before. I have always been a happy person, but I think I have been even happier since I got herpes than I was before.
It has helped me put things in perspective, and when something not so great happens to me, I don’t get terribly upset. I feel more confident in my coping abilities and have realized that I am much stronger than I thought I was.
I am also more aware of when I am under too much stress or not eating right or taking care of myself, because that is usually when I will get an outbreak, so then, I just start getting more sleep or eating better.
13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?
I wanted to participate because I never really (except on that first day) saw this as a bad thing. It was just something that happened, I am still the same person I was before, and I want other people to know it really isn’t this life ruining thing, like I think a lot of people think it is.
I didn’t know hardly anything about herpes before I got it, and I think that ignorance played a part in me getting it (I thought people who had it always had visible sores, so I thought, if there weren’t any sores visible, then I was safe). I think it is something that needs to be talked about more, so people can understand it and know the risks, symptoms, and means of protection.
I also want it to be less of an awkward conversation that I dread having with people, because I think they are not going to understand how common it is and judge me.
Can you relate to this interviewee? Did it help you to read someone else’s story? Have you experienced something similar or do you have some feedback to share with this individual? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
