Last Updated on June 4, 2020 by Saurabh Sethi, MD, MPH
This STD Interview is sponsored by Xmassage. Their team is comprised of experienced massage therapists who have specialized in tantric and full body sensual massage since long before those sites existed. To learn more, visit the Xmassage Blog.
Despite having experienced this myself, I’m always disappointed to learn about practitioners shaming people once they are diagnosed with one or multiple infections. Truly, we can do better. While this interviewee writes about not using protection, even those who regularly use protection contract gonorrhea, chlamydia, and other STIs. Making someone feel badly about their sexual health decisions doesn’t empower them or inspire them, it only discourages them.
Culturally, we have to get past slut-shaming as a way of curbing others behavior.
From having different standards for women than we have for men, to telling people what they should and shouldn’t be doing with their bodies, it’s all so unproductive. Once this interviewee disclosed her status to a couple of her partners, they called her a slut and a whore, but what does that say about them? It takes two (or more) to have partnered sex. Are they excluded from those labels because they are male-identifying? It’s silly and completely illogical.
Let’s do better – practitioners, educators, people – we can all do better.
1. How old are you?
2. What do you do for a living?
3. What STD/STI do you have/have you had?
Gonorrhea, Chlamydia & PID
4. How long have you had or known you have an STD/STI?
Symptoms started on Feb 9th, and even though I went to my doctor twice and called a few times, I was not tested until Feb 19th and diagnosed with gonorrhea and chlamydia until Feb 21st.
5. Do you know how you contracted this STD/STI?
My guess is from having higher risk sex with multiple partners. I was last tested in January and negative, and I have a pretty good idea who I contracted it from, but it doesn’t matter; we both accepted the risks when we consented to unprotected sex, and now we can both deal with the results.
6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STD/STI?
It has been difficult. I feel filthy, embarrassed and lonely.
I am now worried I will not be able to have a child because of PID. It’s really hard. I also realized that some doctors are totally clueless about STIs, testing, and treatment.
7. Do the people who know you have an STD/STI treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?
My friends are still my friends and have been supportive and understanding.
My mother is worried about me.
My doctor seems disgusted with my sex life and horrified at the thought of me having a child.
8. Are you currently under treatment for your STD/STI? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.
On February 19th, my doctor prescribed me medication, but they were not the correct treatments, and as such, ineffective.
I went to a sexual health clinic yesterday, and they gave me an injection and two week supply of antibiotics, but I can’t take them until they call with the results of my pregnancy test. They told me if I am pregnant I will need to be admitted to a hospital for IV treatments.
9. Has having an STD/STI hindered past relationships?
10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STD/STI affected your partner?
I have more than one regular partner, and one has been amazing! The others have been angry, and I have been called a slut and a whore more times than I count, which hurts.
11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting an STD/STI whom you did not tell you had an STD/STI?
No. I told every partner I have had in the past month since I was last tested. Also I was told by the clinic doctor to refrain from sex for the next month.
12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STD/STI?
I guess I have grown as a person. Telling my partners and the outcome of telling them was incredibly difficult and painful, but I did it, and I am glad I did. All but one of them stormed out of my life, and I am glad because I would rather be alone then with people like them.
13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?
I gave one of my partners the flu, and another gave me gonorrhea and chlamydia; it doesn’t make us bad people, it makes us human. The shame and stigma need to go.
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This STD Interview was sponsored by Xmassage. Their team is comprised of experienced massage therapists who have specialized in tantric and full body sensual massage since long before those sites existed. Erotic massage has grown in popularity over the years, so Xmassage decided to combine their experience in this field with marketing specialties to launch what they aim to be the most well-known and trusted directory service in the world, helping their users find the perfect tantric, nuru, or erotic massage. To learn more, visit the Xmassage Blog.
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Can you relate to this interviewee? Did it help you to read someone else’s story? Have you experienced something similar or do you have some feedback to share with this individual? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!