Last Updated on June 4, 2020 by Saurabh Sethi, MD, MPH
An incredible example of how support – caring, thoughtful, and educational support – can be the difference between an emotional tailspin upon a new diagnosis and a calm, worry-free reaction.
It’s never easy to share one’s story, and each person must decide with whom to share it and how to do so (anonymously, with a close friend, or publicly), but the important part is that our stories our shared. Storytelling is a powerful tool, and through the sharing of our stories we can help others in the same position while also eroding the myriad of misconceptions surrounding HSV and the people who have it.
1. How old are you?
29
2. What do you do for a living?
City Employee
3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?
HSV – unsure of type
4. How long have you had or known you have an STI/STD?
Over a year ago, I was raped, and I had what I thought were symptoms of HSV but tested negative. About a week ago, the symptoms came back. I went to get tested again, and sure enough, it was HSV.
5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?
I think it was from the rape, but I don’t know for sure.
6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?
It has not changed much.
I educated myself while waiting on test results. I also have a best friend who has HSV, so speaking with her really put things into perspective.
Of course, I am a little depressed and anxious about passing it on, as my fiance and I are expecting our first child, but overall, my life hasn’t changed too much.
The biggest difference is that I take Valtrex as a preventive now and will have to take it every day.
7. Do the people who know you have an STI/STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?
No, not really.
My mom asked if it was the ‘bad’ kind of herpes, and I explained to her that there was no bad kind. All herpes is the same herpes.
My fiance doesn’t care. He is more concerned about how I feel.
The only other people that know are my best friend and my sister. My best friend has HSV, so she has been my resource and my rock. My sister says, ‘Oh well; no big deal.’
So, no; no one treats me any differently.
8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI/STD? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.
I am fairly new to this. Since I am pregnant, I was put on 500mg of Valtrex a day. I will probably pick up tea tree oil for outbreaks and L-Lysine. I will also rest and try to be more healthy for myself and my baby.
9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?
No; I just found out and am engaged. My fiance has been really great.
10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI/STD affected your partner?
My fiance just hugged me and kissed me when I told him. He said it doesn’t matter, and he can’t see how it is that big of a deal. We researched it together and will be speaking with my doctor together next week. Overall, it hasn’t affected him much. I think he is mostly concerned about me. He even offered to pick up my meds if I needed him too.
11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting an STI/STD whom you did not tell you had an STI/STD?
No.
12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STI/STD?
Honestly, I thought I would freak out, but while I waited on the test results, I educated myself and spoke with my friend who has HSV.
Once it was confirmed, I felt prepared. My outbreak was very mild, and I did not have any lesions. It really didn’t put me out that much physically – nothing I can’t handle.
Emotionally, I am ok. It is a tough thing to hear, I wont lie, but it’s not the end of my world. I have great friends and family, so I will make it.
13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?
When I started researching HSV, I read story after story about women who got their diagnosis. Some women were ok with it, and others were devastated – talking about killing themselves and how they would be forever alone. When my doctor told me it might be HSV, I didn’t know which camp I might fall into, but then I spoke to a friend who had it, and I realized she was leading a normal life and had normal relationships.
I am a little surprised that I have taken it so well. But the thing is, I have some great examples in my life.
It isn’t a big deal. Everyone handles something like this differently, but I just want people to know that an HSV diagnoses is a pretty common occurrence.
You can’t make it the center of your world. HSV is a small thing; don’t let a small thing break you emotionally.
Can you relate to this interviewee? Did it help you to read someone else’s story? Have you experienced something similar or do you have some feedback to share with this individual? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
