Last Updated on July 29, 2021 by Debra Rose Wilson, PhD, MSN, RN, IBCLC, AHN-BC, CHT
Living with herpes is not easy – heck, contracting or living with any STI/STD is not easy. It’s that simple; it’s tough.
Despite the large portion of positive messages I write on The STI Project, there’s no way around how one feels in the first days, months, or even years after contracting an STI/STD.
As a result, I commend this reader for sending in her interview. It is poignant and it brought me back to the times I felt similarly.
It is through sharing these stories we can begin to feel a community (as the interviewee mentions) and we can begin to heal. I truly believe not feeling alone is the first step toward helping heal our fellow friends with STIs/STDs – from there, we can pile on the education and the acceptance. 🙂
But, communication is first and I thank you so very much for sharing your pain so others will know they are not alone.
1. How old are you?
35
2. What do you do for a living?
I am a children’s librarian.
3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?
I have genital herpes.
4. How long have you had or known you have an STI?
Almost a year
5. Do you know how you contracted this STI?
Yes.
I contracted it from someone I have known over half my life. We had a “friends with benefits” relationship…every few years when the two of us happened to be in between relationships, we would get together to hang out and end up having sex.
Each time he would start out wearing a condom, but then slip it off because it wasn’t comfortable. I never worried about it because I had an IUD…all I was concerned about was pregnancy.
Contracting an STD never even crossed my mind.
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6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?
I don’t know how to put it into words, except maybe to say that the current fabric of my existence seems to be made almost entirely of this.
I cannot un-believe that I am more than my herpes at this point.
It has changed the way I look at and think of just about everything.
I entered the deepest depression I have ever experienced in the 6 months following my diagnosis. For the first time ever, I felt absolutely no hope. I believed (and still have to fight believing) that the people around me would be better off if I was out of their lives.
My life went from “normal” to a nightmare in my head.
7. Do the people who know you have an STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?
I have voluntarily told my three closest girlfriends.
They have been nothing but supportive.
They seem to have no stigma attached to genital herpes.
8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.
Yes.
My doctor prescribed acyclovir straight out the gate and I took it twice daily.
I was discouraged at first, because it didn’t seem to be doing any good. I took the acyclovir for 7 months and still had horrible outbreaks every two weeks, so I stopped taking it. A little over a month ago, I started taking the acyclovir again daily, this time supplementing it with L-lysine, selenium, and a multi-vitamin with zinc.
I have been outbreak free since, which is awesome! And I know the supplements are helping in other ways too.
9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?
Yes!
This has really affected my progress in dealing with having herpes.
The two guys that I have dated since I have been diagnosed hit the road when I told them. I told them when it was apparent they wanted to have an intimate relationship.
Their reactions have made me feel worse about myself. I feel like no one is ever going to want to be with me; like I’m not worth making that sacrifice for.
I also feel like if a guy is interested in me he will be disgusted by me once he finds out.
I feel like I don’t have the right to flirt with or be interested in a guy without him knowing, because I feel like I’m leading him on under false pretenses.
Again, this has really messed with my head and is definitely preventing me from moving forward in dealing with this.
10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STD affected your partner?
No.
11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting an STD whom you did not tell you had an STD?
No.
12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STD?
I have realized the vitality in using protection.
Having unprotected sex is like playing with a loaded gun.
I can’t believe I didn’t contract something worse, or contract something sooner. As I mentioned above, all I was worried about was pregnancy.
Having herpes has made me more compassionate toward people who are discriminated against for any reason (sexual preference, race, etc).
I have also lost a lot of my hope for a “happily ever after”. Also, my idealism has gone down the tubes. I hope this will change as I continue trying to deal with this in a positive way.
13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with The STI Project?
I’m participating because I need some form of support group to help deal with this. I live in a somewhat rural area, and resources are limited. I want to read about and communicate with people like me, who are dealing with this and with whom I can identify.
I feel so alone.
I’ve been anorexic and bulimic for about 20 years and remember going to my first support group. Hearing other people share their secrets and fears was like being enveloped in a hug by someone who unconditionally loves you. Finally believing that I wasn’t alone and that I wasn’t a disgusting freak gave me hope. And, I am a full believer in the adage that bringing your secrets out into the light kills the poison that surrounds them. I need that with herpes.
I feel like I am a burden, a mistake, and forever damaged. I think the only way to kill this toxic mess in my head is to get out of myself and communicate with the right people.
Thank you for this project. I have been looking for something like this to help me deal. Your perspective, experience, and perceptions are empowering and have given me some hope!
- How to Not Give an Eff about Having an STI
- All about Herpes Disclosure
- Information About Herpes & Personal Perspectives
- Would you like to share your story?
- STI Interviews
- Herpes Blog Posts
References
- Symptoms
- Armangue, Thaís, et al. “Frequency, symptoms, risk factors, and outcomes of autoimmune encephalitis after herpes simplex encephalitis: a prospective observational study and retrospective analysis.” The Lancet Neurology 17.9 (2018): 760-772.
- Groves, Mary Jo. “Genital herpes: a review.” Am Fam Physician 93.11 (2016): 928-934.
- Jonker, Iris, et al. “The association between herpes virus infections and functional somatic symptoms in a general population of adolescents. The TRAILS study.” PloS one 12.10 (2017): e0185608.
- Verhoeven, Dirk HJ, et al. “Reactivation of human herpes virus-6 after pediatric stem cell transplantation: risk factors, onset, clinical symptoms and association with severity of acute graft-versus-host disease.” The Pediatric infectious disease journal 34.10 (2015): 1118-1127.
- Croll, Benjamin J., et al. “MRI diagnosis of herpes simplex encephalitis in an elderly man with nonspecific symptoms.” Radiology case reports 12.1 (2017): 159-160.
- Testing
- Tan, S. K., and B. A. Pinsky. “Molecular Testing for Herpes Viruses.” Diagnostic Molecular Pathology. Academic Press, 2017. 89-101.
- Piret, Jocelyne, Nathalie Goyette, and Guy Boivin. “Novel method based on real-time cell analysis for drug susceptibility testing of herpes simplex virus and human cytomegalovirus.” Journal of clinical microbiology 54.8 (2016): 2120-2127.
- Hauser, Ronald G., et al. “Reply to Galen,“Screening cerebrospinal fluid prior to herpes simplex virus pcr testing might miss cases of herpes simplex encephalitis”.” Journal of clinical microbiology 55.10 (2017): 3144.
- Hauser, Ronald G., et al. “Cost-effectiveness study of criteria for screening cerebrospinal fluid to determine the need for herpes simplex virus PCR testing.” Journal of clinical microbiology 55.5 (2017): 1566-1575.
- Bohn-Wippert, Kathrin, et al. “Resistance testing of clinical herpes simplex virus type 2 isolates collected over 4 decades.” International Journal of Medical Microbiology 305.7 (2015): 644-651.
- Treatment
- Wilhelmus, Kirk R. “Antiviral treatment and other therapeutic interventions for herpes simplex virus epithelial keratitis.” Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 1 (2015).
- James, Scott H., and David W. Kimberlin. “Neonatal herpes simplex virus infection: epidemiology and treatment.” Clinics in perinatology 42.1 (2015): 47-59.
- Jeon, Young Hoon. “Herpes zoster and postherpetic neuralgia: practical consideration for prevention and treatment.” The Korean journal of pain 28.3 (2015): 177.
- Eppink ST, Kumar S, Miele K, Chesson H. Lifetime medical costs of genital herpes in the United States: Estimates from insurance claims. Sex Transm Dis. (2021).
- Breier, Alan, et al. “Herpes simplex virus 1 infection and valacyclovir treatment in schizophrenia: Results from the VISTA study.” Schizophrenia research (2018).
- Varanasi, Siva Karthik, et al. “Azacytidine treatment inhibits the progression of herpes stromal keratitis by enhancing regulatory T cell function.” Journal of virology 91.7 (2017): e02367-16.
- Prevention
- Abdool Karim, Salim S., et al. “Tenofovir gel for the prevention of herpes simplex virus type 2 infection.” New England Journal of Medicine 373.6 (2015): 530-539.
- Jeon, Young Hoon. “Herpes zoster and postherpetic neuralgia: practical consideration for prevention and treatment.” The Korean journal of pain 28.3 (2015): 177.
- Marrazzo, Jeanne M., et al. “Tenofovir Gel for Prevention of Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2 Acquisition: Findings From the VOICE Trial.” The Journal of infectious diseases (2019).
- Chi, Ching‐Chi, et al. “Interventions for prevention of herpes simplex labialis (cold sores on the lips).” Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 8 (2015).
- Colombel, Jean-Frédéric. “Herpes zoster in patients receiving JAK inhibitors for ulcerative colitis: mechanism, epidemiology, management, and prevention.” Inflammatory bowel diseases 24.10 (2018): 2173-2182.
- Transmission
- Oevermann, Lena, et al. “Transmission of chromosomally integrated human herpes virus-6A via haploidentical stem cell transplantation poses a risk for virus reactivation and associated complications.” Bone marrow transplantation (2019): 1.
- Tronstein E, Johnston C, Huang ML, Selke S, Magaret A, Warren T, Corey L, Wald A. Genital shedding of herpes simplex virus among symptomatic and asymptomatic persons with HSV-2 infection. JAMA. (2011).
- Pandey, Utsav, et al. “Inferred father-to-son transmission of herpes simplex virus results in near-perfect preservation of viral genome identity and in vivo phenotypes.” Scientific reports 7.1 (2017): 13666.
- Ramchandani M, Selke S, Magaret A, Barnum G, Huang MW, Corey L, Wald A. Prospective cohort study showing persistent HSV-2 shedding in women with genital herpes 2 years after acquisition. Sex Transm Infect. (2018).
- Ceña-Diez, Rafael, et al. “Prevention of vaginal and rectal herpes simplex virus type 2 transmission in mice: Mechanism of antiviral action.” International journal of nanomedicine 11 (2016): 2147.
- Omori, Ryosuke, and Laith J. Abu-Raddad. “Sexual network drivers of HIV and herpes simplex virus type 2 transmission.” AIDS (London, England) 31.12 (2017): 1721.
- Aebi-Popp, Karoline, et al. “High prevalence of herpes simplex virus (HSV)-type 2 co-infection among HIV-positive women in Ukraine, but no increased HIV mother-to-child transmission risk.” BMC pregnancy and childbirth 16.1 (2016): 94.
Jenelle Marie
I’m posting this link on the bottom as my mom just posted her first comment on the website the other day as a result of hearing me interview on a radio show….Scroll through to the comments section – her’s is the first comment; I think she would have wanted me to post this here as well in hopes her message would reach more people. 🙂
https://thestiproject.com/std-project-interview-wprr-public-reality-radio/
Anonymous
People fear what they don’t understand. It will get better, and you will find someone to be intimate with. My boyfriend has had herpes for nearly 5 years. He has had 2 relationships since his diagnosis, including me. Granted, women are generally more understanding than men. But we have been together for nearly 2 years. We always use condoms, and he takes his medicine religiously. He hasn’t had an outbreak in over 3 years, and I was just tested – with negative results. Keep your head up and educate yourself so that you can educate others. Life with herpes is not a sentence. It is just about managing your intimacy more carefully.
Jenelle Marie
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Ignorance is bliss (or so they say) and commonly fosters misconceptions and misunderstanding like nothing else does. I’ve found, this helps me to be less angry at those who are being ignorant, unkind, bigots. Lol. I mean that in the nicest way possible, as quite honestly, they don’t know any better. 🙂 Even my boyfriend and parents have been shocked by the information I’ve shared with them and numerous times have said, ‘wow, I just had no idea.’
In regard to being fair and telling everyone you date about your diagnosis right away: It takes time to develop a relationship with someone (non-intimately) where they want to consider taking the risk – they have to see you as a potential long-term mate, I think. I also believe it is not at all unethical to withhold your herpes status until you’ve gotten to know someone. I have had people say otherwise, however, NO ONE tells the person they are dating everything about them on the first date or even months into a relationship. As long as you are not engaging in sexual activities that would put that person at risk, it is perfectly acceptable to wait to tell them until you feel you can trust the individual and until you are also considering seeing that person seriously. Let me put it this way; if you had an abusive father, were on anti-depressants, had a brother who committed suicide, had a misdemeanor, killed people in the military, had an abortion, used to do drugs, had a mother who was a hoarder, had fungal toe-nail problems, or any number of ‘you insert the potentially embarrassing and private thing about you’, would you tell the person you were dating right away? Sure, maybe some of this would come out in normal conversation, but no one puts all of their cards on the table all at once and says, here it is, everything about me take it or leave it! No, it takes time, communication, and trust. It’s all part of relationship building. Now, if I was being stalked by a hit man because of the people I killed in the military and every time that person went on a date with me they were at risk of being killed, sure, then I should let them know. But as long as they aren’t at risk, you are not morally or ethically obligated to tell them until you are good and ready and you are also willing to take the risk of sharing an intimate secret with someone else….which, most likely, will be when you can foresee yourself investing some time with them or becoming intimate. 🙂
Jenelle Marie
One more parting comment for the original author and for everyone reading this interview in the future:
Remember, there are anywhere from 56-65 million people living with an STI/STD in the US alone – depending on the source of the statistic. (To give you a perspective of how many people that really is, neither the entire hispanic or the entire black population is that large.) And, upwards of 19 million people (in the US) contract an STD annually – some curable, some not (these are just the STDs reported to the CDC – many are not reported, under-reported, and undiagnosed). So, when you think of those statistics, it’s likely you’ll meet someone while dating who is presently managing an STD or who has previously contracted an STD.
Since these statistics are so daunting, it’s important to remember to talk about testing for other STDs, whether the person you are considering being intimate with has ever been tested, has ever had unprotected sex, or has had other partners (this includes manual, oral, and anal sex – see my post on which STDs you’re at risk for based on the activities you’ve participated in – https://thestiproject.com/risky-sexual-activities-stds/). Yes, your own STD status is important, of course, and should be disclosed before engaging in these activities, but what about their status? You certainly don’t want another STD – especially not one that is life-long or hard to get rid of – as long as you can help it, right? Believe me, I’ve been there and could have kicked myself in the face for being so careless after I had already had herpes for so many years and knew the statistics….I was lucky to have only contracted scabies as it’s curable and goes away after applying sticky prescription cream all over the body. Moral is, ask questions. And, get educated, of course – since you’re here, you’re obviously already doing that, so, rock on! 🙂 But, don’t stop here – I encourage you to check out the resources and references I link to for additional information. A lot of the STDs I talk about on The STI Project are not tested for in traditional STD screenings. So, even when asking someone if they’ve been tested, it’s important to know what they’ve been tested for, how long ago, and if they’ve had any partners since. No matter whether you’re STD free or not, when choosing to share your body with someone else, you are taking a risk. Sex is lovely – I encourage lots of safer healthy sex. However, it’s up to you to decide what risk you’re willing to take based on the relationship you have developed and the information you have acquired from communicating with a potential partner.
Just because you have an STD doesn’t mean you want additional STDs, doesn’t mean you no longer care about your body (some people have been so cruel as to say I’ve slept with as many people as possible in order to spread my STD – which, of course would assume I no longer cared about my health and well-being), and doesn’t mean safer-sex shouldn’t be a priority. More people need to have these conversations…..when we all start to do that, the reaction becomes less shocking and more along the lines of gratitude and mutual respect. Albeit, right now, these may start off as odd conversations to have with a potential partner, I’m sure. 🙂 Someone has to start the trend! Be a trail-blazer! 😉
Sally Lynn --- Jenelle Maries' Mom
Your poignant story brought tears to my eyes! As a mother I wish I could cradle you in my arms and tell you what a beautiful person you are!
But do you realize that just telling your story took strength…..and you have begun the process to healing.
You are no freak!! If you have read the statistics on Jenelles’ site you are beginning to understand that you are not in a minority, but rather a majority of all people living on this earth!
You spoke with honesty, and maybe you don’t realize this, but something very good and powerful has transpired through your unfortunate circumstances. You stated that you now have more compassion towards people who are discriminated against, for any reason! Isn’t this what God has asked from all of us?
I believe there will be at least one time in everyones’ life, no matter how many friends or relatives they may have, where they suddenly feel all alone. Maybe you have reached that point. If you don’t believe in God, my compassionate prayer for you is that you will find him. If you already believe, I pray that you will find him again. For he is the one entity that will NEVER leave you.
We all have “ghosts” in our closets, whether they be addictions, mental illnesses, diseases, or things we’re just not proud of. You mentioned that you feel like a mistake.
God doesn’t make mistakes!
And he loves us all unconditionally.
Thank you for sharing your story, because sharing opens our human hearts to brotherly love!
Anna
Thank you both for your words of wisdom and comfort! I do believe in God, and I think he had me stumble onto this website for a reason. Jenelle, your words are helping me BELIEVE there’s hope, instead of just knowing it exists and not being able to grasp it. Sally Lynn, your words are cradling me and helping my heart! Thank you for taking the time to reach out.
Sally Lynn --- Jenelle Maries' Mom
Anna, I had one last reply to you but I probably posted it on the wrong page. So click back to the page with Jenelles’ radio interview to view it.
Jenelle Marie
For future readers, it’s important I point out that The STI Project welcomes all faiths/religions/spiritual identities and is not partial to Christianity or Western religions.
As the admin, I do not strictly identify with my mother’s faith and it’s important all of my readers know your beliefs and thoughts are welcomed and not judged based on your spiritual journeys. 🙂
hidingintheshadows
I have just been diagnosed with HSV2. I have never had an outbreak and I have no clue where I got it from. I get texted every time I have a new partner, out of habit. The most recent partner asked if I had tested for Hsv.. I said of course, When I get tested I ask for a full screening. Why would HSV not be part of a full screening. Aparently its not. So I spesificaly asked for it and for the first time in my life I got a positive on my test results. I refused to believe it, I got 2 more tests done, one of them coming back with the results I was looking for, but the one that was important (western blot) confermed my diagnosis.
I feel contaminated. I feel everything that, that woman felt in the interview and more. I had fallen in love with an amazing man. He had fallin in love with me as well. But after we discovered the results of my first test we had to stop all sexual activity. We stopped because of other partners involved could not take the risk.
There are a total of 3 people who I have been intimate with who know my status and every single one of them have decided to no longer be sexual with me. This hurts so bad! I don’t know any other word to discribe how I feel other then DISCUSTING!
I feel like it is even worse that I have no clue how long I have had it, or who gave it to me. For all I know I was born with it. But that then makes me stress out because I start to think about who I could have passed it on to. How many lives have I messed up because of my ignorance.
I do not believe in god, but I do believe in mother earth. I believe in fate and destiny. I also believe in free will and cause and effect. I mention this because of something my love had said to me when I first told him my status. He said “You are such a sweet, careful, amazing woman, you don’t deserve this!” This has been firmly weighing down in the middle of my head. Big bold block letters taking up space. What caused this to happen to me? What horrible thing did I do to now have ANOTHER stigma attached to who I am?
I’m not sure what will make me feel better. Sure a sense of community, knowing that I am not alone could help. But really, I can still feel alone in a crowd of like-minded people who all love and support me.
I feel like it is important to ‘come out’ about being HSV2 Positive. It is important to strenghten myself, and help support others. But how do I do that?! I have had to come out about being a foster kid, bisexual, addict, kinky, and plenty others. None of which made me feel so crappy about myself that I really did not want anyone to ever touch me. How do I come out and still be able to protect myself and my feelings. But how could I ever ‘stay in’ with out ripping my self up emotionaly from the inside out.
Jenelle Marie
hidingintheshadows –
Thanks for reaching out!
There are a couple of things to keep in mind as you’re working through all of this – I know how devastating it feels initially….so, some of this info might help to ease your questions or frustrations – at least a little bit, hopefully:
1.) Most comprehensive STD panels do not include screening for HSV at all (as you’ve discovered) – in most cases, you have to ask for an HSV test explicitly, and it’s an added fee.
2.) It’s not a part of a full panel for a few reasons – the more accurate Western blot test used to determine strains is relatively new – at least in so far as that it’s widely available, it’s not cheap, and a lot of practitioners think an HSV test is unnecessary, because most people have one strain or the other, so discovery causes undue strain and trauma – trouble is, whether or not you’re asymptomatic (not experiencing outbreaks), it’s transmittable to others.
3.) Even though you’ve had people choose to abstain from sexual activities with you as a result of your HSV, that won’t always be the case. I’ve not had a single partner (and I’ve had my fair share) choose to not be with me for that reason – in recent years, I’ve also spent a lot of time developing relationships before engaging in sexual activities, so, the relationship was much more than physical and was well-established. This will certainly change how you interact and what conversations occur between you and partners, but it absolutely, positively, does not have to stop you from having valuable relationships and a healthy sex life.
4.) Most people with a viral STD and a large percentage of those with a bacterial or parasitic STD don’t know where it came from. Trouble is, all STDs can remain dormant or not exhibit noticeable symptoms for a long time. It’s infrequent one is able to trace to a specific person – despite how hard they try – and it’s much more common that one just isn’t able to discern for sure – despite suspicions. That being said, you were most likely NOT born with it. HSV rarely passes from mother to baby unless there’s an active outbreak at the time and the birth was vaginal – it does not transmit through the blood stream. It’s much more likely you contracted it from a past sexual partner – like, 99% likelihood. Remember, HSV is skin-to-skin transmitted, so even a person trying to be mindful of their sexual health, who practices safer-sex, and is diligent with barriers can contract HSV.
5.) You are not being punished, you did not do something horrible to deserve this, and destiny (or God, or mother earth, or whomever) is not causing this. Your actions caused this – but not in a punishable, your actions were crappy kind of way. When we engage in sexual activities with someone else, when we share our bodies in such a close and intimate way with someone else, we put ourselves at risk – for the physical and emotional reward and that doesn’t make us bad people. None of that is bad. Married people in committed, monogamous relationships contract STDs all of the time – they’re no different than the single people who contract STDs. Our bodies are permeable and susceptible to a number of infections and ailments. That you contracted an STD does not mean you were/are a crappy person, you deserve it, and destiny is trying to tell you something. This is simple science. Don’t let societal constructs get in the way of logic – they would have you believe you’ve done something bad as a form of social control. Sure, you may choose to do things a little differently (if at all) and this may change the way you develop relationships and the conversations you have, but that’s it. This is not a punishment no more than the flu or allergies are a punishment.
6.) You are NOT disgusting. Read these 2 articles about the psychology of disgust: #1#2. Then, keep in mind, we’ve long since learned that cleanliness has nothing to do with our ability to contract or transmit sexually transmitted infections. In fact, traditional female cleansing practices (such as douching) actually makes one MORE susceptible to STDs.
7.) Be patient with yourself. You’ve contracted something that isn’t horrible but is frequently viewed horribly, highly stigmatized, and laden with misconceptions. You don’t have to come out and share your story right way (if ever), and it will take some time to work through all of this. As you’ve begun to understand, the emotional toil an STD diagnosis takes is far greater than managing the infection itself. That’s what we’re trying to alleviate for you here at The STI Project – shameless plug! 😉 But whatever you take from all of what I’ve said, most importantly, be patient with yourself. Personally, I do believe everything happens for a reason, but, not at all the reason society would have you subscribe to – rather, I think, it’s all a part of our humanity – finding our humanity. And herpes is a character builder – lol….I can laugh about it now, because it’s been 14 years. It won’t take you that long, but don’t beat yourself up about your progress in the meantime.
8.) You’re not alone. But you will feel alone, just like all of the rest of us do, because we’re standing in a sea of people just like us with blindfolds on, our arms tied, and indecipherable music blasting through our headphones – completely unaware they’re there and unable to find them. No one talks about it, therefor no one hears about it, and you have no idea there’s a person right next to you who understands. It’s maddening – at least, it is to me! Other things are like this right now too – mental illness, disabilities, civil rights – it’s all the same human plight wrapped in different circumstantial packaging.
9.) Now I’m rambling. 🙂
10.) Feel free to reach out whenever you need an ear. As you can tell, I’m always happy to ponder the absurdity of how we’re made to feel badly about all of this and then to promptly balk at such ridiculousness.
Hope this helps in some little way!
Roberta
My 20 year old daughter had her very first sexual experience and got genital herpes from it. How will she ever be able to have a relationship now. The first boy she told a year later ran for the hills. She’s only 21. Is her only chance now to have a real relationship is to meet someone who also has it?
Jenelle Marie
Hi Roberta –
Thanks so much for your message.
Your concerns are valid and quite common, however, the good news is, your daughter will be able to have a loving, healthy, relationship again. While the first guy she told may have ‘run for the hills’, not all of them will. In fact, I’m proof there are many who will not – I’ve yet to have a partner leave because I am living with genital herpes. I suspect, the individual who chose not to continue dating your daughter was not interested in her (at least, not yet) beyond a sexual relationship and was not willing to consider a risk, because the relationship had not progressed much past physical interest.
So, while the way she approaches relationships and the conversations she has with potential partners will likely change a bit, her opportunity for a rewarding and wonderful relationship has not diminished. She, also, will not have to only seek others with HSV – that is a viable option, yes, but it’s certainly not the only one.
Anyhow, know you are definitely not alone in your concern, but your beautiful and young daughter will most definitely be able to have a relationship again. 🙂
Thanks again for your message!
Roberta
Thanks Jenelle,
I appreciate the positive thoughts and encouragement. I will hope for the best.
🙂
Jenelle Marie
Definitely do, Roberta – positive thinking goes a long way – and should she feel discouraged, please feel free to send her my way! I’m happy to answer questions and to provide some optimism during what can feel like a dire situation. For that reason, primarily, we write a lot about what it’s like to live and date with an STD.