Last Updated on July 29, 2021 by Stacy Sampson, DO
To continue our series – STI Interviews – this woman wrote in the other day courageously determined to share her story about HPV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and a “herpes risk.”
It takes strength to share this openly and is testament to the plethora of people out there encountering STIs every day and often before the age of 25.
Thank you for your submission and may others find reassurance through your words – you are NOT alone!
1. How old are you?
I am 30, baby…
2. What do you do for a living?
N/A
3. What STI do you have/have you had?
I have had HPV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and have been exposed to herpes, though I was lucky to not become infected with it.
4. How long have you had or known you have an STI?
I was 20 when I got HPV, and 22 when I contracted the others.
I found out I had HPV when I was pregnant for my son. I found out I had gonorrhea and chlamydia because I knew something was not right down there.
5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?
Well, before I was with my son’s father, I would go and get checked every 6 to 8 months. I had never had an abnormal pap smear. We both agreed that before we went without using protection we should both go down and be tested. I was negative, so I can only assume I contracted it from him….
With the gonorrhea and chlamydia, we had been separated but trying to work it out and still sleeping together. I had not had another partner, however, I came to find out he had had more than a few.
So, once again, I am lead to believe they came from him… I’ve never heard of an STI fairy frolicking around sharing the wealth.
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6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?
It has made me more cautious – even with serious relationships. It takes only one time to change your life…
Being treated for the HPV narrowed my chances of ever being able to carry another child full term again…
When I was exposed to herpes, I had dated the man for 4 months and he never told me he had it. It wasn’t until he left me at his home, because he got called in on a Saturday, and I went into the medicine cabinet to get some pain killers for a headache and I saw a prescription that I found out. That scared me. I actually left and didn’t speak with him again. It wasn’t because he had an STI. I liked him and would have continued dating him despite it! It was because he had kept it from me and did not give me a choice of exposing myself to something I could have for the rest of my life.
He took the choice from me and I could not forgive that.
7. Do the people who know you have an STI treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?
Well it is not always a topic you openly talk about.
There have been a few that knew that tried to make me feel dirty and ashamed.
But for the most part, people that I have spoken to accept it and it has not influenced or changed their opinion of me in the slightest.
8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.
With the HPV, I had to have a LEEP done 6 months after my son was born. It is where they take a laser and carve out the cancerous cells. I had to be checked every 6 months for two years, and then every year after. It has been almost 9 years since I have had an abnormal pap smear.
For the others, I just took some pills and it was gone.
9. Has having an STI hindered past relationships?
Not really. Except the time I was not told.
10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI affected your partner?
No. I have taken time off dating to focus on myself and my son and making our life strong and stable before I bring someone else into it.
I have not found someone special enough to be included in our world at this time…
11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting an STI whom you did not tell you had an STI?
Since I have not had an abnormal pap in so long, I do not feel that I have to, however, I do.
I have never had a negative reaction.
12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STI?
It hasn’t really ever changed me. You are who you are. The core of yourself does not change because you have had an STI.
It does not make you a better or worse person. It does not define who you are.
It might make you a bit more cautious and more aware of your actions, but in this day and age, is that really a bad thing? The only thing that has changed forever is if I one day I decide to have another child, because of the LEEP, I have a 20 percent higher chance of not being able to carry to full term.
13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with The STI Project?
I am participating because I want others to know they should not be ashamed.
There are many stories and many things that we all regret or wish we could take back. There are others out there that, like me, have been dealt bad hands and may be scared to speak out. And there are some that feel ashamed and have a hard time telling someone, “look, I have an STI”… You need to find your voice. You need to forgive, accept, and move on. And you need to be honest with those you choose to share your bed with.
If you can not trust someone to love you and accept you because you have an STI/STD, how can you trust them enough to take them into your bed?
By hiding the truth, you only help spread the stereotype and potentially risk what could be a happy relationship.
By hiding you make it unhealthy. And there is no where to grow from something built upon deceptions.
Those that know you, know your worth. They will love you anyway. No matter what… And those that don’t or judge and degrade you will never be capable of walking a mile in anyone’s shoes and are not worth investing in, let alone bringing into your bed!
Everything helps shape who you are, but nothing defines you unless you allow it to. Never be afraid. And always speak up….
- How to Not Give an Eff about Having an STI
- All about Herpes Disclosure
- Information about HPV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or Herpes
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References
- Symptoms
- Carpén, Timo, et al. “Presenting symptoms and clinical findings in HPV-positive and HPV-negative oropharyngeal cancer patients.” Acta oto-laryngologica 138.5 (2018): 513-518.
- Suzuki, Sadao, and Akihiro Hosono. “No association between HPV vaccine and reported post-vaccination symptoms in Japanese young women: results of the Nagoya study.” Papillomavirus Research 5 (2018): 96-103.
- Nadarzynski, Tom, et al. “Perceptions of HPV and attitudes towards HPV vaccination amongst men who have sex with men: A qualitative analysis.” British journal of health psychology 22.2 (2017): 345-361.
- Martínez-Lavín, Manuel, Laura-Aline Martínez-Martínez, and Paola Reyes-Loyola. “HPV vaccination syndrome. A questionnaire-based study.” Clinical rheumatology 34.11 (2015): 1981-1983.
- León-Maldonado, Leith, et al. “Perceptions and experiences of human papillomavirus (HPV) infection and testing among low-income Mexican women.” PloS one 11.5 (2016): e0153367.
- Testing
- Koliopoulos, George, et al. “Cytology versus HPV testing for cervical cancer screening in the general population.” Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 8 (2017).
- Ogilvie, Gina Suzanne, et al. “Effect of screening with primary cervical HPV testing vs cytology testing on high-grade cervical intraepithelial neoplasia at 48 months: the HPV FOCAL randomized clinical trial.” Jama 320.1 (2018): 43-52.
- Goodman, Annekathryn. “HPV testing as a screen for cervical cancer.” BMJ: British Medical Journal 350 (2015): h2372.
- Kuhn, Louise, and Lynette Denny. “The time is now to implement HPV testing for primary screening in low resource settings.” Preventive medicine 98 (2017): 42-44.
- Bishop, Justin A., et al. “HPV-related squamous cell carcinoma of the head and neck: an update on testing in routine pathology practice.” Seminars in diagnostic pathology. Vol. 32. No. 5. WB Saunders, 2015.
- Treatment
- Quake, Stephen R., and Jianbin Wang. “Compositions and methods for cell targeted hpv treatment.” U.S. Patent Application No. 15/166,936.
- Mirghani, H., et al. “Treatment de‐escalation in HPV‐positive oropharyngeal carcinoma: ongoing trials, critical issues and perspectives.” International journal of cancer 136.7 (2015): 1494-1503.
- Wang, Marilene B., et al. “HPV-positive oropharyngeal carcinoma: a systematic review of treatment and prognosis.” Otolaryngology–Head and Neck Surgery 153.5 (2015): 758-769.
- Stich, Maximilian, et al. “5-aza-2′-deoxycytidine (DAC) treatment downregulates the HPV E6 and E7 oncogene expression and blocks neoplastic growth of HPV-associated cancer cells.” Oncotarget 8.32 (2017): 52104.
- Hildesheim, Allan, et al. “Impact of human papillomavirus (HPV) 16 and 18 vaccination on prevalent infections and rates of cervical lesions after excisional treatment.” American journal of obstetrics and gynecology 215.2 (2016): 212-e1.
- Prevention
- Grandahl, Maria, et al. “School-based intervention for the prevention of HPV among adolescents: a cluster randomised controlled study.” BMJ open 6.1 (2016): e009875.
- Stanley, Margaret, and Mario Poljak. “Prospects for the new HPV Prevention and Control Board.” Papillomavirus Research 3 (2017): 97.
- Bosch, F. Xavier, et al. “HPV-FASTER: broadening the scope for prevention of HPV-related cancer.” Nature reviews Clinical oncology 13.2 (2016): 119.
- Dilley, Sarah E., et al. “Abstract C92: A diagnostic review of barriers to and opportunities for improving HPV vaccination in Alabama.” (2018): C92-C92.
- Gervais, Frédéric, et al. “Systematic review of cost-effectiveness analyses for combinations of prevention strategies against human papillomavirus (HPV) infection: a general trend.” BMC public health 17.1 (2017): 283.
- Transmission
- Kero, Katja, and Jaana Rautava. “HPV infections in heterosexual couples: mechanisms and covariates of virus transmission.” Acta cytologica 63.2 (2019): 143-147.
- Giuliano, Anna R., et al. “EUROGIN 2014 roadmap: Differences in HPV infection natural history, transmission, and HPV-related cancer incidence by gender and anatomic site of infection.” International journal of cancer. Journal international du cancer 136.12 (2015): 2752.
- Guenat, David, et al. “Exosomes and other extracellular vesicles in HPV transmission and carcinogenesis.” Viruses 9.8 (2017): 211.
- Zouridis, Andreas, et al. “Intrauterine HPV transmission: a systematic review of the literature.” Archives of gynecology and obstetrics 298.1 (2018): 35-44.
- Louvanto, Karolina, et al. “Breast milk is a potential vehicle for human papillomavirus transmission to oral mucosa of the spouse.” The Pediatric infectious disease journal 36.7 (2017): 627-630.
Get STD Tested
You’re doing great things here. Destigmatization is the first step we can take to create a healthier sexual environment for all. Kudos to you on contributing your story for everyone. Both men and women need to test more often!
Jenelle Marie
@GetSTDTested – All around, you are right – for the most common STD tests given at local clinics and for the wealth of other STDs one could have been exposed to… Often times, men and women are tested for the most prevalent 3-4 STDs without consideration to the other 12-13 they may have come in contact with.